Photo by Margaret Weir on Unsplash
In the recently published book The Anxious Generation, author Jonathan Haidt reviews research showing that children are no longer able to experience play-based childhoods and this is leading to increased rates of anxiety and other mental health issues. It’s best for parents to recognize this trend in society and work to minimize negative effects on their children. What follows is a summary of the concerns mentioned in Dr. Haidt’s book.
The Loss of Free Play
Peter Gray of Boston College defines “free play” as an activity freely chosen and directed by children and undertaken for its own sake, not consciously pursued to achieve ends distinct from the activity itself. Free play is not play directed by parents, teachers, or coaches, and is not the same as screen-based play. In free play, children acquire essential skills like communication, negotiation, conflict resolution, creativity, compromise, risk-taking, discovery, exploration, and more. In 2004, children in the US had an average of 3 hours of face-to-face time. Now it’s down to 40 minutes, and much of that time may not include free play. Parent place too much emphasis on organized play or learning experiences. When children are not allowed to figure things out on their own they become overly dependent upon adults for directions, becoming less resilient and self-reliant, and hence more anxious.
Parents often restrict their child’s range of play, forcing the child to stay close to the house and always be supervised. This derives from an exaggerated parental fear of their child getting hurt or their child getting kidnapped. The common term for this is Safetyism- the overemphasis on a child’s safety resulting in the suppression of a child’s physical and psychological development. Crimes against children are much lower than they were in the 1970s and 80s but you would never know it based on how the media sells fear and how parents anxiously restrict their child’s range of play. Dr. Haidt states that we overprotect children in the real world and underprotect them in the digital world. In most households, children have a far greater chance of experiencing problems online from adults than in the average neighborhood or community. When parents and teachers over-emphasize potential dangers, the child’s brain stays in “defend” mode rather than “discovery” mode, and this affects their mental health.
The Loss of Risky Play
By nature, children are antifragile. Just as the immune system must be exposed to germs, and trees must be exposed to wind, children require exposure to setbacks, failures, shocks, bumps, scraps and stumbles in order to develop physical strength, grit, and self-reliance. Overprotection interferes with healthy development resulting in children being more anxious and fragile.
The most obvious place to see how play for children has changed is on the modern-day playground. Prior to the late 80s, playgrounds challenged kids to overcome their fears and learn to manage threatening situations. Play bars could be 25 feet off the ground! A favorite on old playgrounds was the Spiner. Kids learned all about centrifugal force and the need to balance themselves against the risk of being thrown off. Those playgrounds are gone. Now kids are easily bored on the “safe” playgrounds of today. By focusing on risk-free play, children are not learning to manage fear and their bodies are not learning to tolerate pain. Their bones are weaker and their nervous systems are more sensitive.
In my practice, I love when a child comes in and shows off their scab from a recent adventure. Scabs and bruises show me that they are taking risks and pushing themselves beyond their fears. These children have shed their anxious thoughts and behaviors, and are much happier as a result.
I encourage you to read Dr. Haidt’s book. There is a lot of good information contained in it regarding play, video games, social media and phone-based childhoods. It’s worth your time to read.
Chris McCarthy